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  • Writer's pictureMelissa

At Day's End

Updated: Feb 20, 2022



You’re sleeping so sweetly, and seeing your angelic faces, my heart sinks. I feel like snuggling in right between the two of you who are on either side of my bed and calling it a night.

So I shouldn’t have to taste this regret.


I failed you today.


I let the creative wave that has run amok in my brain take me on its journey, spilling those million waiting thoughts onto paper, living everywhere but right here on earth with you. Facing the computer instead of your sweet little faces.


I let the frustration I felt for your father spill out to you, dear impressionable little souls. A let the anger take control of my heart and expel every last bit of tenderness.


You looked forlorn the few minutes before you drifted off, and I had just about enough time to whisper I’m sorry. I’m feeling so sad now.

And like I wish I can just undo the past few hours.

And be the mother I so badly want to be.


And if anyone reading this feels this way at the end of a day like this, this song is my prayer:


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Melissa
Melissa
Mar 02, 2022

You just keep going, Malki!

Because, yes, we all have such days. And apologizing (uh, braving up? Love that!) when you mess up is huge. Kudos to you for doing that -- fessing up to your kids that you're human and also reminding them that it's not about them.

❤️


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grunwaldmalki
Mar 02, 2022

Thank you! Thank you! I keep going back to this post, and the song at the end is almost the soundtrack of my life right now. It's helping me through those endless frustrating days where I feel like all I've done is mess up. And has helped me try to clean up my messes by braving up (is that a term? If not yet, it is, starting from today ;)) and apologizing to my lovely, innocent ones. Makes me feel less lonely and isolated knowing that I'm not the only one going against what I want so badly, to be there for my children. And gaining hope and strength knowing that I could apologize and try (and probably fail) again…

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Emunah Harrel
Emunah Harrel
Jan 17, 2022

Ooof. This hits home. I may have a tear trickling down my own cheek now... ❤️

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Melissa
Melissa
Jan 17, 2022
Replying to

Thank you! I hope today is a better one for you.

Melissa

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