Melissa
I Can’t Give It To You
“This relationship is so painful. Because I can’t give you what you want.” In session, with my limbs tangled into each other, my breath...
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Melissa
- Dec 6, 2022
- 2 min
A Towel for a Tsunami
"Here's a towel," you offer, not in so many words. "It will absorb the spillover. There are ways to manage the pain." Oh, but what is...
71 views4 comments
Melissa
- Sep 21, 2022
- 2 min
Watch Me Tumble
After ups and downs, climbs and falls, it feels like I finally reached a stable place in therapy. A place of hard-earned trust in this...
97 views4 comments
Melissa
- Sep 7, 2022
- 2 min
Uber-Sensitive
It’s been a really long while, but believe it or not, I’m still here behind the screen ruminating about therapy. Still sitting on that...
98 views4 comments
Melissa
- Aug 3, 2022
- 2 min
A Fragmented Story
I need to grieve. But I don’t know what to grieve or how. The grief is a constant ache in my chest, a fixture so permanent that I can’t...
92 views7 comments
Melissa
- Jul 28, 2022
- 2 min
Why Therapists Never Win
Poor therapists. They can never get anything right. Actually, scratch that. My poor therapist. Maybe yours can. Because whatever she will...
101 views0 comments
Melissa
- Jul 21, 2022
- 2 min
When Therapy Doesn’t Feel Therapeutic
Apparently, I’m here for healing — for you to teach me that I have a place in the world. That there are actually people who have my back....
216 views2 comments
Melissa
- Jul 13, 2022
- 2 min
Visitor
It always sneaks in from behind, and I don’t recognize it. All I know is that I’m irritable, my fuse is so short, and nothing I do even...
80 views4 comments
Melissa
- Jul 13, 2022
- 2 min
Healing Hurts
This is supposed to be healing. Healing hurts. Healing is endless. Healing feels nothing like soothing and remedies and balms. Healing...
95 views4 comments
Melissa
- Jul 6, 2022
- 2 min
Poised for Battle
Someone’s approaching. Inching closer to my hideout. Reflexively, my finger hits the trigger. I fire. And I slink back into hiding,...
76 views4 comments
Melissa
- Jul 1, 2022
- 2 min
The Problem With Gray
The problem with this therapy thing is that I can never comfortably ensconce myself in a clear train of thought. I’m always stuck...
78 views2 comments
Melissa
- Jun 28, 2022
- 2 min
The Fence I Built
I’m dying of thirst Just a few feet away from water Behind a fence Of my own making Why did I erect this fence And cordon myself off...
63 views1 comment
Melissa
- Jun 27, 2022
- 2 min
When Enough Is Enough
Do you ever feel like some stuff should have already been resolved, or made peace with, and yet it keeps reemerging? And you don’t want...
69 views6 comments
Melissa
- Jun 23, 2022
- 2 min
Chair Amnesia
I would love to say that the reason I go blank during sessions is that I don't prepare and it catches me unawares. Ha, if only that were...
96 views3 comments
Melissa
- Jun 16, 2022
- 2 min
All-You-Can-Talk Tuesday
Come Tuesday, and it’s time to talk. It’s time to fill myself up by, as ironic as it is, getting some of the stuff choking me out. For...
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Melissa
- Jun 12, 2022
- 1 min
What Would Newton Say?
The person at my elbow is talking about Shavuos. I do a double take. Wait. Is Shavuos gonna be, or was it Shavuos already? Oh, it was....
60 views2 comments
Melissa
- May 31, 2022
- 1 min
Roadblock?
I actually wrote this exactly a year ago (to the date!) and sent it to my therapist. But I found it now, and I could have written it all...
98 views4 comments
Melissa
- May 29, 2022
- 2 min
Lost
I woke up in a haze; I’d been in one all weekend. But I knew I was equipped. I’d get out as soon as I was ready. I dug into my toolbox...
75 views4 comments
Melissa
- May 26, 2022
- 2 min
Vow of Silence
At one point, many years ago, I needed to guard the little sense of self I had left. So I took upon myself an oath of silence. The less...
59 views2 comments
Melissa
- May 15, 2022
- 1 min
Where’s the Rulebook?
The problem with me is that I don’t know how to do life. Despite the months and months (and months and months) of therapy, I still don’t...
55 views0 comments
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